On Lost Things
Loss comes in many varieties. First, there is the loss that occurs because of our own inattentiveness, where we simply misplace things—sometimes very important things. Then there is the loss that owes itself to distraction stemming from our busy-ness or our improper focus. “I could just kick myself for not . . . ” (ever been there?). In these cases, “cutting our losses” means, first, FORGIVING OURSELVES (negative self-talk is ungodly and NEVER productive!), and second, remembering the lesson so we will not become a repeat offender.
In addition to losses that result from carelessness or inattention, are losses that result from another person’s wicked intentions. I’m talking about stealing someone’s property or, far worse, stealing his or her self-esteem by physical abuse or a constant barrage of unkind and degrading epithets. In these cases, “cutting our losses” means, first, FORGIVING THE OFFENDERS (not excusing or minimizing the despicable nature of their crimes, but refusing to harbor hatred toward them—a divinely enabled process, to be sure!) and second, moving forward with our lives by redirecting our energy to acts of kindness—not only toward others, but also toward the very ones who have abused us. This divine plan is counter-intuitive; on the human level it simply makes no sense. Nevertheless, it is the means by which God brings healing to hurt souls.
Surely the most painful losses of all are the losses of human relationships that we hold dear. On a list of losses ranging from the least to the most painful, the penultimate example of this category is divorce. Wrongly viewed by some as the “unpardonable sin,” divorce issues calls for forgiveness along many social lines. For the spouses, “cutting their losses” means at some proportion—and the line is usually fuzzy—FORGIVING both THEMSELVES and their estranged OTHER. But since marriage is a three-way covenant (the spouses pledge themselves (1) to each other, (2) to God, (3) to the community), divorce involves each spouse OBTAINING GOD’S FORGIVENESS for whatever part he or she has played in the dissolution of the marriage, and both spouses obtaining FORGIVENESS from the body of Christ. Any in the church who use refuse to forgive, but instead mistreat and alienate couples who have been divorced bring shame to the cause of Christ. The same church community that has the authority to forgive the dissolution of a marriage also bears the responsibility to do what they can prevent it.
Unquestionably the most painful of relational losses involves the loss of a dearly held relationship due to death, particularly since these are losses over which we have absolutely no control. Only One has authority over death, and when we lose a loved one, He is the usual focus of our anger—whether or not we are bold enough to admit it. We are usually most angry because we frequently view “a long, full life” as an entitlement, rather than viewing every day as an undeserved gift. Perhaps, if only in some minute sense, “cutting our losses” here means “FORGIVING GOD,” accepting His sovereign will for our lives, and leaning on His Holy Spirit for comfort and strength.
