Forgiveness: A Model In Leadership

Reading Paul’s letter to Philemon this morning, I was reminded again of Paul’s appeal for forgiveness on behalf of Onesimus, whom he refers to as his “spiritual son.” In addition to its value as an illustration of forgiveness, this letter is a masterful model of Christ-like leadership.

Although Paul had the authority in the Lord to “command” Philemon to “let Onesimus off the hook” (the outward element of forgiveness), he chose rather to “appeal” to Philemon to do the right thing. To be sure, Philemon’s outward compliance would benefit Onesimus, but Paul had Philemon’s best interest at heart as well. He knew that forgiveness was ultimately a voluntary decision of the heart, not begrudging compliance to a demand. For this reason he gave Philemon the opportunity to “do the right thing.”

Forgiveness is always the right thing, though it cuts against the grain of our fallen nature. Self-centeredness and forgiveness are like oil and water. Much of what we think is forgiveness is calculated with our self-interest in mind. We forgive, because we wish that others would forgive us when we mess up–a corollary to the Golden Rule.

True forgiveness has the offender’s best interest at heart–it does not excuse or make light of the offense; it simply lets the offender “off the hook” and prays that the offender will come to an awareness of the viciousness of the crime, be filled with remorse, and repent.

Paul’s appeal charts a path for all of us, when we are dealing with an offense against us. In brief, he reminds Philemon (and, indirectly, us) of the debt we owe God for having forgiven us. If this does not incline our heart to forgive offenses against us, then we have not properly understood the forgiveness God has offered for our offenses against HIm.

Thank you, God, for your mercy (not giving us what our sin deserves) and your grace (giving us what our failures do not deserve)!